Live did I squatted inside her
I kicked I moved
Causing the pain in her
She took me in with love
Nurturing me with utmost care
All the pain she bore
Alone nobody at all to share..
Came crying did I
After that 9 months safe within her
I was a girl too
A boon or a curse for her..?
I glimpsed her beautiful smile
Pouring along with silent tears
I couldn’t understand her happiness
Nor the eyes that was crying with fears
Home finally went
The home where she had put in life
I went to that home
And I dreamt I’ll be a part of that life
I grew in my mother’s arms
I grew till I no longer fitted in her lap
I remember her words still saying
“Stand up on your own now baby
You’ve grown up already”
I looked to my dad
He carried me in his arms with love
I remember his words still saying
“My princess she is and always will be”
My heart flew with the colors of Holi
As he swung me around in his arms
I felt I’m the luckiest girl
It was a blessing I got born in here..
Smiles and laughter ..
Love and only love around
Love even when my baby brother was cuddled in her arms.
“Daddy doesn’t he look like me?” I ask
Daddy replied.. ” No he looks like me and will be a businessman like me”
Daddy didn’t give me a glance
Took my brother sat beside mother
That’s when I realized..
maybe I wasn’t their happiness I imagined myself to be..
My brother my piece of joy
His small fingers clutching mine
His laughter became my laughter
I thought he was another gift given to me by time
He grew up too
I saw him growing with my own eyes
He didn’t fit nomore in her lap too
But she didn’t say..” Stand up on your own now you’ve grown up already”
I remember daddy pick him up and say
” He is the king he will take the house someday”
And I reminded him about his princess..
Daddy said,” oh you will have to find your prince very soon”
Thats when I realized…
Maybe I wasn’t a princess at all
My brother grew big
I was even bigger
He was going abroad tomorrow
And I was to stay in hostel
My hostel was very nice no doubt
But my broyher stayed at home
Back to the day he was going abroad
The tears fell endlessly from my mother
My father never looked so grave
Not even did they cry once when I was going
Away from home to hostel for years
That day I realized..
Maybe I wasn’t the one to stay forever with them at all
My brother went abroad
I went to my hostel
While tears fell for my brother
None fell for me..
I remembered the tears I saw on my mother for first time
I realized then…
Maybe that were the only tears meant for me
I got the a job
Good that’s very nice were the words for me
I got a job
Tomorrow we have a get together if family
That were the words for my brother I see
I realized that day..
Maybe I wasn’t a reason for celebrations at all
I hear my father’s words..
” Now it’s time you get married”
I remember myself saying..
“No i want to read more like brother himself “
But what happened in the end
It’s what always happens
Today here I sit at a corner of my room
Looking at my small girl sleeping on her cot
Tears falling of my eyes looking at her
Thinking.. Being born a girl a boon or a curse?