“You fold this making it a small opening and insert it inside and it will get stuck there inside your vagina. After 10-12 hours when it is filled with blood, you push your fingers inside and take it out of your body”. Scary, isn’t it? Yes, I was scared too. But what is most scary is my first experience of using it, using the Menstrual Cup. 

Every time I was on my periods, I used to be sad because I was using sanitary pads which meant contributing to environmental degradation. Being an environmental activist, this was against my value. My period days would be the worst days of the month, the mood swings, discomfort, pain and the guilt of contributing to environmental degradation. I felt I was letting myself down going against my own values. So, one fine day I decided to switch into a menstrual cup. It wasn’t as easy as you say. For months, I watched YouTube videos on how to use a menstrual cup, experiences of using a menstrual cup, good or bad effects of menstrual cups and what not. This research went on and on asking my friends their experience of using it and all. And then I finally decided to buy it online in October 2019. I was just done with my periods a few days back before I bought it, so I had to wait next month to try. After I received a menstrual cup, I was asking myself “Will I be able to do this? Am I sure I want to do this?” I had a month of questioning myself with continuous research on how to use it. My friend advised me not to try when you are not on periods because on your period days your vagina is slightly bigger than your normal days. So I waited for my period. 

Finally, one morning in December 2019, I got my periods. I calmed myself and mentally prepared to use a menstrual cup. I went to the washroom and started trying. First try, didn’t go inside, second try no, third try no and I was tired of trying. As the cup slid inside, it would hurt, and I took it out immediately. I couldn’t do it, so I took out a sanitary pad and used it. Since I already used the sanitary pad, I felt let this cycle be it and I will use a menstrual cup from next month which would be a new year, January 2020. The next month, I again tried. This time I told myself “You will do it” and motivated myself that I have to. With this determination I tried. First try, it didn’t happen. In the second try, it went inside and I panicked. I panicked because I was scared, I felt it went inside a lot more than I thought it would. I hurriedly tried to take it out by pulling the lower pointed end and it didn’t come out. I got terrified. I thought I would have to go to the gynecologist to take this out from my vagina. And my mom would kill me for doing this as she is against me even buying the menstrual cup. I was in tears, panicking, scared and trying to pull that out from the pointed end. It was already 10 minutes that I was in the washroom crying and praying to god that “Please God let this come out of my body and I promise I would NEVER use it again”. After a while I calmed myself and pushed my fingers inside the vagina pinched the base of the menstrual cup and got it out. This was the right way to do it. Since I panicked, I was just pulling the pointed end of the cup which wasn’t the right way to do it. However, since I promised myself I would never use it, for the next few months I didn’t think of trying at all. February, March, April all these months went by using sanitary pads and being guilty of using it. Though I wasn’t trying I was still doing my research on using a menstrual cup through YouTube videos and asking my friends their experience. And every friend whom I have asked to, they would give me a positive review on how comfortable it is and all. 

On May 28, the Menstrual Hygiene Day, there were different virtual programs going on where there were discussions around using a menstrual cup and I attended it. In one of the programs, they were sharing their experience of using a menstrual cup and answering all the queries from the audience. After attending that program I was again motivated to use a menstrual cup. So, on my June cycle, I again tried. This time I was a lot calmer and told myself whatever happens not to panic at all. And in the first try itself, my menstrual cup got inserted inside. I made sure it was properly stuck and open to hold the blood. I still had a question in my head on how I would get it out but I thought let it be for now and will think of taking it out after a few hours. The whole day I was conscious that there was a menstrual cup inside my vagina and could not concentrate on anything else. After a few hours, I calmed myself and learned again on how to take out your menstrual cup and went to do so. It was a little difficult and painful to insert the fingers and slowly get out from the vagina. I looked at the cup and my blood, clean and beautiful red, did not smell at all and only a quarter filled. I was shocked at how clean my menstrual blood was as until now the blood on the sanitary pad seemed dirty due to its smell. And I was convinced that menstrual blood isn’t the dirty blood but a clean one. I poured it out and again inserted inside and within seconds I was done. I was so happy. And now, this is February 2021, it’s been 8 months that I have been using a menstrual cup and I am sure I will ALWAYS use it. Now, I feel so good about my period. My period days feel a lot more comfortable, confident and content.

– Sajju Maharjan